Hello there,
@justme.
I'll preface by saying that I felt the same way before when starting off. Programming is daunting: you see what other people are building, tell yourself that you need to get as good as them and before you know it, you're crushing your self-esteem and enjoyment for something you wish to improve in. It's important that you realise that many famous programmers did not get to where they are now without lots of learning and practice, and you must remember that they have years of experience behind them too. You're only a beginner, so do not worry about the skills of others and compare yourself to them - this is easier said than done, but with a bit of training of your mind, it can be done(meditation?)
You need to have a bit of creativity when it come to programming: what do you want to build? You can make anything, just as long as you have a bit of creativity in you combined with your knowledge of the language. Inspire yourself: once you have been learning C for some time, look at simple projects done by others on sites like GitHub(which has some good educational resources) and analyse the way it has been laid out and written - functions written, libraries/APIs used, etc.
You also must gain practice with the language: go onto any website which has exercises or find a programming book which has exercises(I'd recommend the K&R C book, but I think, from my own experience with it, it's for more intermediate level and not fresh beginners - but it's been a while since I last properly read it so I may be wrong), and just do the exercises. It's like studying for say, maths: just do the questions. And if you make a mistake, take note and learn from it. Tutorials are a good way to get an idea of how to structure a program, get set up and start writing, however do not rely on them for actual projects because nobody will be there to guide you and if somebody finds out you have copied from a tutorial and claimed it as your own, you will be setting yourself up for a lot of bother.
Avoid getting into the cycle of learning the same thing over and over again - that is insanity and nobody likes that. Using the same analogy with studying for school subjects: if you get stuck on a question, move on. Obviously, don't move on too far or else you'll get really stuck. And if it needs to be done, take a break for a while and then come back to it: go for a walk, cook a healthy meal, go for a walk with your dog, watch your favourite TV show or read your favourite book, go for a walk with your dog whilst reading your favourite book(maybe don't go that far, you may walk into a lake and destroy your favourite book!) Sometimes too, our ambitions get in the way of learning - this was the problem I had when I started off. They get in the way and so your ego makes you think you know and understand, but in truth, you don't. Deflate your ego, drop the big dreams of running the next [big tech company here] - it ain't happening, so get your head stuck into your computer screen and get typing!
Lastly, if your depression/insecurities begin to get severe, please step away and consider if programming is really for you. A hobby/skill should not cause a person to suffer from mental illness. If you do step away and you find your problems still lingering, please go and seek out a doctor if you can for your own sake, as there may be more problematic issues underneath.
I hope I have helped you and I send you my best wishes!
🙂
